I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
