remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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