Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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