yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
