Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
