He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize