So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
