I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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