She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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