she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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