What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
