i can't believe i had my finger in that
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
