If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
