Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
