he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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