i was born a porn star she said
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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