I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
