I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
