Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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