i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
