I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
