He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
