Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do vagina's smell?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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