I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
