Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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