As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
