How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
