She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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