so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Reggie can tackle my bush.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
