Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I need to stop coming to work sober
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
