i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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