fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Randomize