I have demons in me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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