Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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