Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
