i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
