I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
