Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
