life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think people are normalizing furries
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
