No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
