I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
