So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
