Ambien. No doubt about it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
