Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i may or may not be watching the land before time
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
