True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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