Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
