using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I smell stomach acid.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize