Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
