just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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