also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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