: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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