11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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