I wanna passion pit in your ass
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
