I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Let's get the cat blown out
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
