just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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