Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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