i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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