Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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