it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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