Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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