She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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