Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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