I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
