Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
